


Slinker off but remember luck isn't always on your side

by TFALokiwriter



Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Just very sad, Mistakes, Post-Season/Series 02, Sad, Sad Ending, Sad!Spock Prime, well just my two cents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:41:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25542265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TFALokiwriter/pseuds/TFALokiwriter
Summary: Luck used to be on Spock's side until it walked away and left him to the consequences of his actions.
Relationships: Amanda Grayson/Sarek, James T. Kirk Prime/Leonard "Bones" McCoy Prime/Spock Prime
Kudos: 5





	Slinker off but remember luck isn't always on your side

**Author's Note:**

> Nero didn't attack the Kelvin because of some daring mission by aos uss enterprise A that got them all killed but left the USS Kelvin to carry on the flight and have Jim delivered at Riverside.

Spock’s vessel departed out of the portal flinging him out into the cold open of space. Spock sat there in surprise, quiet, processing the events that had transpired spinning away from the area that he had been yanked into. His external long range sensors came up with no report on the Narada’s presence.

“Report: there are no short long range Romulan Mining Vessels in territory.”

Spock lifted a brow.

“Interesting.” Spock replied. “The Narada should have been here.”

Spock frowned, quite troubled, disturbed by his own question.

“Why is it not here?” Spock questioned to himself.

 _“Mr Spock, Romulans don’t last long in Starfleet space because of the Romulan war.”_ McCoy’s ghostly voice reminded him. Spock could easily visualize the elderly doctor behind him, perched on the ledge along the frame of the window, arms folded. _“There is a neutral zone that must be enforced for a very excellent reason.”_

_“Bones, Bones, this is advanced technology they have; they couldn’t have been defeated as easily as the hulls were on the Romulan vessels in our day.”_

_“Recall that Admiral Archer was there during the creation of said zone after the Romulan war. When there’s a will, there’s a way. I recall that he said that in his speech.”_

Spock shed a small but subtle smile over the comment. It brought back many fond memories of the admiral forcing the universe to do what he willed, by hope, by determination, by sheer tenacity to solve a problem and bring peace. It brought back memories of the crew’s laughter including one event shared with Klingons _._ And that was reason enough to plot a course for Vulcan.

* * *

Spock observed nothing was different from the various air-cars that flew in the air racing back and forth among the bustling city as he carefully navigated the craft that held red matter. It had been days worth of travel heading back to the planet that was a breath of fresh air to see it quite smaller, alive, and vibrant except for the notable characteristics of the bright brown theme being darker; in fact, every single craft was a shade darker than he had known.

Spock frowned at this difference. He were not back in his past; that much was quite telling. Everything was more alive and innocent but now it seemed that it had lost that. Spock filed that observant change setting it aside as he navigated his way for the house of Sarek going over cliffs, valleys, and hills until he had arrived to the appointed place that he were to be necessary at.

Spock flew over the large apartment that housed multiple members of the S’chn T’gai house from different generations when it came to various occassions. Spock flew the vessel overhead toward the cavern in the mountains that he were keenly familiar to in his youth on his off time exploring them that was apart from the life of Vulcan youths shaming him, bullying him, and attacking him for being part human. The memories of personal solitude brought solace upon him.

Spock navigated the craft into the cavern then set it into park mode. Spock set out of the chair quite slowly then went to the side panels of the ship and typed into a console that summoned his wardrobe that was colorful but ugly. He stripped out of his gray uniform then hung it in the hangar as he caught the photograph of the Enterprise family in his hand quite with precision after it fell out of his sleeve.

Spock picked out a navy blue Vulcanian desert rope with black as the secondary theme. He outlined the general shape of the Starflete Badgewith his fingers on each piece of the sleeve that was evident with the chaotic clash of blue and black. In a mere few moments, he changed into the clothing then sighed looking at the mirror displaying his aged aesthetic. He had little care of the world’s view of how Vulcans viewed other Vulcan’s style, all that mattered was going out the way that suited him. 

_“Like doin’ a suicide mission?”_ A invisible pointed glare aimed at his head bothered him. “ _Ya didn’t need to take most of the Romulans with you when you DIED.”_

“Most had evacuated.” Spock reminded as he turned toward the space where the doctor would have taken up. “The ones who hadn’t left were clinging on desperately to the chance that I could save them.”

_“Ya lied to them.”_

“I had hope.”

_“Ya still lied.”_

“Isn’t that what we did in our youth to civilizations that we were aiding?”

_“That was different.”_

“Because we delivered in our promises. I did not deliver in my promise.”

_“And ya committed genocide!”_

“That was not my intention---”

 _“BY ACCIDENT!”_ Spock could easily see the man bouncing on the tips of his toes, furious, with his hands linked behind his back glaring back at him. “ _My God, Spock!:”_ The specter approached him with a look of horror, dismay, and disappointment in him. _“Why the hell did ya think that chance would be on your side against a blasted supernova!”_

“I had hoped things not go that way.” Spock admitted to the empty room with a silver specter of who had once been living on spite to outlive him. “Hope always won at the end of the day before that event.”

_“Ya should have told them that you had some doubt that it would be a success! You should have given them the math!”_

“I tried, Leonard. Shouldn’t that count?”

 _“It does.”_ The voice of his former bondmate joined his side. _“It does count.”_

 _“You just should have been truthful about it.”_ the ghostly voice of the elderly doctor echoed. _“That’s the part that matters.”_

 _“I would have been truthful about the chances, Ambassador.”_ The ghostly admiral admitted. Spock looked toward the man that he had watched grown old after escaping days after the Enterprise B’s gutted attack with the Nexus, a existence that had to be concealed, and lied about extensively except for the crew. He remembered the admiral at his best before dying in his sleep one night after his health had deteriorated quite quickly. _“That is your only error of this mission.”  
_

“It was.” Spock confessed. “My only error.” _  
_

Spock opened the photograph staring down upon the youthful of the crew looking back at him before their demises. Chekov dying in a mission to save the heart of Starfleet, Sulu dying to save a rare humanoid flower based species from extinction giving them cover in a shuttle acting as a diversion as the Excelsior flew away with a aged Demora in the captain’s chair, McCoy on a adventure of his own attending a civilization’s disaster aiding who he could making sure they were able to be transported, Uhura in the field of action helping someone, and Scotty’s fate was yet written.

“To miss the days with hope, optimism, and chance on our side is illogical. . . but, I find myself discarding logic.”

Spock acknowledged as he admired the people in the photograph with cold hands.

“And my logic is this; making hope for what needs it the most. That is what we did, we all did, because we used our own hope for others with the best of intentions for them.”

He felt the edges of his eyes brim with tears then covered his lips as he were reminded; you failed to do the best of intentions.

“And I will continue to do so until the end of my life. This is my logic.”

They looked so young then, optimistic, willing to help, and hopeful, and ready for what the universe had to throw at them on a day to day basis and nightmares that caused the group to laugh -- except for Spock -- at the mess hall even notably Kirk’s retelling of how he had a nightmare during camping about Spock’s brother who was mentioned so casually to the surprise of the crew who never met him. Spock was very amused by the human’s mind take of what his brother’s fate could end up being.

 _“We used to be so youn’.”_ Spock could hear the doctor’s sniffle.

_“We still are, Bones.”_

Spock slipped the photograph into his pocket and patted along the pendant around his neck. He smiled, clenching around the circular shape, closing his eyes with a small release of a smile of a artifact that he had found only weeks after the final passing of the person of his heart, evidence that he had lived, evidence that he left something behind for Spock, factual evidence of their close relationship. He slid his hood up then proceeded to depart down the platform and the door closed behind him.

* * *

Spock traveled through the hours contemplated how to best enter the lives of his family. It was the most logical interruption in all, he could not avoid his father much as his father could not avoid him in his role as Ambassador, his later attempts to start giving tastes of Vulcan Culture to Romulans to be eager to be united and his eventual demise then admittance to the great hall of thoughts. He were a few short miles when he paused in his tracks looking up in the direction of the building.

He lowered his hood, irked, the house looked different. It didn’t have a grandiose staircase that lead up over the small valley beneath it, it didn’t have the most slanted structure, the patios, the hydroponic gardens, including the mainly white aesthetic from the make up of the house being of marble, nor did it have the quite logical parking garage that Amanda had insisted for emergency purposes to hold one of many of her prized motorcycles or a air-car should walking not be a option. 

Spock lifted the high neck collar up above the linings of the hood. _What is, is._ However they would see him at his present age was going to be a entirely different matter entirely and may see his rough draft of a plan go off the rails; there was some fear that he would intervene in the Farragut, Khan---No, he wasn’t, but he had a strong will to make sure Scotty’s nephew didn’t die nor did other cadets --, the whales, and the creatures that bore similarities to pancakes that destroyed a entire civilization. Three of which could be interfered but the first tragedy had to be one that had to pass.

Depending on his time spent, he could see to it that the creatures that intentionally destroyed---and he recalled, _Nomad_. Spock sighed, then lifted his head up, that was another matter to get down to. Two of them had to be faced. Things were different than they were before and it was quite apparent that his effort to save Romulus had created a alternate timeline, or, Alternate Universe. Spock was carefully trying to determine which it was. Spock made a new decision, _just Nomad and the flying bat like creatures._

Spock approached the doorway of the house then pressed the button.

A woman in her forties opened the door.

“This is the S’chn T’gai residence.”

“This is S’chn T’gai-Grayson, Amanda? _“  
_

“That I am. My husband is away and will be back soon from a meeting about a battle.”

“Battle?”

“Artificial Intelligence went out of control in space a week ago.”

“Fascinating. . . Was the USS Enterprise part of this incident?”

“It was. And we lost the USS Discovery.”

“The USS Discovery?” Spock asked. “That ship is a second contact vessel.”

“It’s a flagship.” Amanda replied.

 _“Oh boy, don’t do it.”_ McCoy’s ghostly voice warned.

 _“That doesn’t sound right, Spock.”_ Kirk’s voice advised. _“That’s a very big alteration. Or a big leg pull there.”_

“Negative, that is a mischaracterization of a Crossfield class. It is notably used in merchandising routes and common place to find on aforementuoned routes. Crossfield Classes are not as advanced as Constitution Classes that were designed by Federation Ambassador Robert April.” _  
_

“It was going to be a cargo vessel.” Amanda said. “Until Archer voiced that it should be a Starfleet vessel.” She tilted her head. “Time Crystal, Sarek?” _  
_

“That would have been easier, mother.” Spock said.

Amanda briefly covered her mouth.

“S-s-s-s-s-s-Spock?” Amanda asked. “How old are you?”

“One hundred fifty-seven.” Spock said. “I turn a hundred fifty-eight next year.” _  
_

“I don’t recognize you.” She put a hand on the side of his cheek, her hands briefly setting off his cold skin then set back down, shocked momentarily by the evidence of his words being confirmed. “Why?”

“I am from a universe in which I never made a mistake that I made.” Spock replied.

_“Now, ya sayin’ that our world happened because ya didn’t do that mistake? Peaches, ya wrong.”_

“What mistake was that?” Amanda asked.

“Giving hope to the Romulans instead of advising them.” Spock admitted.

“You’re my son, Spock.” her hand moved from his aged cheek to the side of his shoulder. “I know you did what you thought was right.”

“I didn’t do it right, mother.” Spock shook his head as he protested. “I didn’t tell them the chances apart from the risks.”

“Come in, Mr Spock.” Amanda said. “You must be starving from all that traveling.” she beckoned him into the house as she backed off from him. “I’ll make some plomeek soup for you.” She stepped aside letting him in.

“Has father adopted more children?” Spock entered the house.

“The boys are on their Kahs-wan.” Spock observed how wide, how distant, how much space there was with decoration that deserved as museum pieces to a Vulcan commercial. “I know they will come back with scratches, vague, and more reclusive but that’s fine by me. Them being alive is the part that matters the most; just like you.” _  
_

Amanda went into another room as Spock admired the scenery and noticed the large Sehlat set on the couch.

“He who is my husband will be very shocked to see you.”

“Mother, I know what you are thinking and I do not approve of it.”

“Are you---”

“I know you, mother. You were a very devious individual when it came to pranking father. I recall vividly that you, Michael, Sybok, and the other children took turns painting father’s fingernails and your own. Father was quite unhappy about the stories that he had to share about his peers asking him about the paintings.”

Amanda was giggling, then wheezed, leaning forward, arching over the counter.

“We painted constellations on Sarek’s fingernails that one time.” Amanda said between her laughter. _  
_

Spock seated at the circular table. _  
_

“Negative.” Spock replied. “We painted the most important planets to him on his fingers.”

Amanda turned toward Spock, surprised.

“Earth, Vulcan, Tellar, Alpha Centauri, Andor. . . on his left hand.”

“Constellation?”

“Left hand was galaxies and his middle finger was painted with a pink background a cat puking the rainbow.”

Amanda cackled, setting the soup on the table, then sat down alongside him.

“Tell me more, please about the pranks.”

“Until father has arrived.” Spock said.

“Until he has arrived.” Amanda nodded. _  
_

And so Spock did between each sip of the soup over Amanda's glee.

* * *

Every time Spock looked down at his bowl of soup, there was another bowl. Spock wasn't quite sure if the bowl was never ending or if he were imagining nearly getting to the bottom, zoning out, then finding it full once more. Spock's full belly indicated that he had several bowls of Plomeek soup that all tasted differently as he slid the bowl forward. The door to the apartment slid open and he looked toward Amanda, politely, requesting non-verbally that it not be one of her famous pranks. Amanda nodded in acceptance.

"Amanda, I have returned."

Someone else paused in the walk way into the other side of the chamber.

"Sarek, we have a visitor."

Spock didn't recognize him, he saw a stranger, a ordinary Vulcan, someone with deep brown hair, just as young as Amanda. It was sour seeing a stranger with a name that didn't quite fit him, not the face that he had become familiar to seeing aging and getting gray; the last time that Spock had seen Sarek face to face was after Perrin and stormed out of the house. He saw a young man less than a hundred years old, ninety at best, practically a baby compared to Spock. 

"Greetings, Ambassador Sarek." Spock greeted with the vulcan salute

"Greetings." Sarek returned the gesture. "Were you sent by the Vulcan High Council?"

"I was sent by the Vulcan Science Academy with Red Matter to halt a supernova for the sun that orbits Remus and Romulus." Spock lowered his hand into his lap. "I failed."

"Who are you?" Sarek asked.

"I am S'chn T'gai Spock, Ambassador of Vulcan to Romulus." Spock explained. "I am intending to re-apply for a placement at the ancient hall of thought after being sucked out of my universe. And I do not have any method or hope of returning. I may have perhaps destroyed my own universe with my fair attempt to save the Romulans."

"May have destroyed it does not describe accurately of what you did." Sarek said. "You _left_ it behind."

"Affirmative." Spock said.

"In the absence of a way back, have you determined a identity to live under in this new universe that you created?" Sarek asked.

"I have and you met him." Spock replied as Sarek had a barely noticeable frown at first. "In fact you met my counterpart of this world a long time ago during my kahs-wan."

"S'chn T'gai Selek." Sarek said. "Now, it makes sense why I keep seeing Selek when I look at our son."

"Affirmative." Spock replied. "Given that he will not need in the future, I am willing to take that identity."

"So there is no Selek?" Sarek sounded so disappointed that it nearly surprised Spock

"There never was a Selek." Spock replied. "You fell for it, hook, line, and sinker."

Amanda laughed from her side of the table as Spock had the hints of a smile. 

"What else have I fallen for?" Sarek asked.

Spock contemplated then shrugged.

"That's it." Spock replied.

"We have a spare bedroom that you can stay in. . ." Sarek inhaled. "Selek, could you leave me with who is my wife?"

Spock recognized that tone. The issue of Keras, the issue of Romulan and Vulcan unity, all it was going to be taken care of after today; but not this moment. Sarek had important news that pertained to some logic to Amanda that meant something of importance to him as well. Spock got up to his feet then explored about the building until he went down to the lower half of the building tailed by the sehlat. He looked around with eyes full of intrigue observing the contrasts and the similarities. 

"Did you leave a bondmate behind?"

Spock turned in the direction.

"I did not."

"Did you have a bondmate that was suited to your liking? I always sensed that you were different from Sybok and I."

"I had bondmates. A number of them." Spock nodded as he approached the younger man. "Let me introduce you my versions of them." Spock started to hold his hand up. "May I?"

"You may."

Spock planted a hand on the side of of the younger Ambassador's face. Sarek saw two men roughly about his son's age in appearance standing side by side, waving back at him, greeting him with; "Hello, Ambassador Sarek." Sarek's eyes flashed open then he withdrew himself from him. 

"You . . . you. . . you bear the souls of two humans?"

"That, I do."

"That is not possible."

"I was there at the moment of their passing and removed myself from their minds after catching their soul." Spock replied. "They won't look the way that they did in my world."

"May I know their names?"

"Doctor McCoy and Admiral Kirk."

"Logical. Having a doctor and a admiral for bondmates has its advantages for a Vulcan."

"Plenty."

"I will not seek them out. But, I do wish to know, when will I meet them?"

"2267." Spock said then sighed, looking on with pity toward his father, who seemed to accept the news. "Father, I grieve with thee."

"Did your sister not have to leave in yours for everyone's sake?" Sarek asked.

"She did not." Spock said. "She was the captain of the Shenzhou at this point in time and was a thorough captain. Father, what happened here?"

"Please, sit." Sarek said and Spock sat down into the nearest chair. "I will have to start off with the events that happened a year ago and work my way to the present."

And Sarek did tell it all.

By the time Sarek had finished and walked off; Spock was heartbroken.

Even as Spock surrounded by specters of his loved ones with hands on his shoulders comforting him of about how his mistake had changed everything for the worse here; it was quite a sorrowful moment.

**The End.**

**Author's Note:**

> Error, error, error has been removed. I had there are short long range Romulan Vessels. There wasn't. That's why Spock said what he said.


End file.
